So if any of you find my motivation out there can you post it back to me!  

Tried to take a small break from my pc, it was the Easter break after all however it latest a little longer than planned  – well aside from getting back to work at home naturally.  

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 I tried to stay away from all things work during that 2 week break though did some of that colouring stuff which actually turned out to be quite relaxing, make a lego loveheart for my window, spent time tidying the garden, made a couple of daft videos. I say daft more just I like to try different things so one of them was really just a montage of pictures I’d taken from near enough the same spot in Kelvingrove park – The Snow Bridge looking out at Glasgow University. Me and one of my daughters would go every Saturday morning for a Pokemon walk and I got into the habit of taking pictures as well (mostly of Squirrels but I loved the view from the bridge too.

The other video was well out of my comfort zone but my wee cousin was supposed to get married just before Easter and naturally that never happened so I got some family involved and made a mime along video for her to one of her favourite Westlife songs (personally it’ll be too soon if I hear it again sorry Kelly but almost 7 hours of You raise me up just to get the video right!) still it was worth the end result and put a smile on her face. 

Why am I doing these things well they keep me focused. My anxiety has been quite bad recently and I am hating shopping with a passion now to the point it is literally fear inducing thankfully only go once a week now to the supermarket. My routine isn’t great and it has affected me not being able to head off to work each day – yes I work at home and do get to talk to my colleagues/students but it is not the same as being able to get in the car and head off to another building for the day. Writing has also been good though but see that motivation I was talking about yip it has been slowly going and its been difficult to get back into thing again. I’d had a bit of CBT before the lockdown and part of that was all about ensuring I did something enjoyable each week if not more (small things).  So doing the little things like that help me get a bit of me time and time to try not “think” or overthink.  

I’ve now started  to meditate using the Calm App. Had did this before but kind of lost my way with it before Christmas so giving it another go. Only been a few days though. I still get out to walk every day with my daughters and listen to music while we do so (we probably look very unsociable walking in pairs with headphones on but it gets us out the house). I also discovered from a friend Susan Calmans awesome Mrs Brightside podcast which you’d think listening to someone talk about anxiety and depression would be weird but actually I have found it very interesting and somehow makes what I have feel a bit more normal. Its definitely good to talk about these things and I have hid it for too long but by opening up it has lifted a weight.