Week 1 ups and downs

Now that we are have completed our first week working from home well what can I say. My anxiety was tough there were good days and bad days when I was at work, but a couple of things helped so much. Firstly, just being at work helped having a routine was important and kept me going. I have supportive colleagues who listened (when my anxiety got bad at times it caused either total silence and distancing from me or verbal nonsense) and it was just that, nonsense literally talking but I was listened to without any qualms. Similarly, they knew when I was anxious and staying away and kept distance but would always get the wee message later of are you OK – they knew. That I’m grateful for. To the rest of my colleagues it really wasn’t personal just I didn’t want to be a burden or to have folk feel sorry for me (that is the last thing I want as well and I just wanted to get on with it, work has been the normal and I’m happy for that). Possibly the wrong attitude as I’ve had a lot of love over the past week since my first post but understand that was my anxiety as well not personal. Anxiety really is a strange creature and I’m in a better place for understanding my own now but it took time to get to that stage and I’m still learning as well especially with all that’s been going on recently.

We do need to be aware of our colleagues and look out for any changes. I’m in a place where we have a good network of support in the staff room and further around (yes I know that fully now ! ) no matter how unimportant you think it is just ask them if they are OK and yes do it twice if needed or if they are too quiet/out of character etc. Aside from my colleagues I’d been doing a few things that really helped me such as I went for walks everyday at lunch just to get away from my desk, always important at home too to get away from your computer. It helped clear my head as well as get fresh air. I’d go for a short walk with my music on (definitely recommend creating a playlist of your favourite upbeat songs that you can walk along to).

Also useful to have a playlist of songs for calming as well, find a song or two that has a decent beat for breathing exercises as well. I also make use of my smart watch which has a fab function for helping with breathing exercises too when my anxiety was bad.

We had an informal staff meeting today – we are all used to tea break at 10.30 and in the afternoon as well. Our break from the classroom and chance for a wee natter (and some bad jokes) – and it was great to see everyone but conversely it was also a little bit overwhelming. It solidified the reality of being at home working as well and that was difficult for me. However a few chats later on in the day with different colleagues has helped. It’s a new way of working and I will get used to it – my routine has been abruptly changed and its taken time for me to adjust as I’m sure it will have a lot of folk but with support and a ton of memes in the Whatsapp chat I know it will be OK.

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